A Look Back...

At 2009

I have never really done a year in review or anything like that, but here goes. The happy moments, the sad ones, the feats and the memories:

In 2009...

10. I read 55 books, and began a 56th.
9. My favorite students threw me a goodbye party
8. I sledded in the Alps (as 2008 became 2009)
7. I toured Edinburgh, London, Budapest, Bruges, Amsterdam, Paris, Brussels, Milan, Vienna, and Glasgow
6. I fell in love with a school and a country
5. Matthew came to France
4. We lost Louis and got Henry
3. I had a special visitor all of September
2. I met Matthew, and fell in love
1. I got to live another year of love, life and joy with the 4 (and now 5) people who mean the most.

The Almost-Christmas

If this is the time to be with the people you love, I'm only 4/5.

On My State of Being

Did you ever think it would be like this?
I dreamed it would, but did I really know?
The answers we may never find,
But perhaps I don’t even need them.

Reminiscent of another age

Remix

I'm feeling rather torn
Disjointed
Not knowing what
To do

And you would too.

My heart says one thing
My head
Well it says
Different

Nothing's etched in cement.

Maybe I should just
Go for
It the thing I truly
Desire

I do indeed aspire.

There is a good
Beginning
Here I'm getting rather
Strong

And yet it takes so long.

If it were up
to me
Well then I'd be sprinting
to you

Straight 'til you're in view.

But it is, up to me
That is
So maybe I should adjust
My mind

Stop waiting for a clearer sign.

It's time to seize my life it's
time
I'm tired of putting it on
Hold

I choose today to start growing old.

With you.

I Love Us

This week marks 8 months
That we have been us.
It's gone by fast,
But the separations
Go by so slow.

Learning to still have fun
While apart is like
Trying to breathe
Underwater, nevertheless
I'll do my best.

Love's my light in a
Sea of shadows,
Hold on tight I'm
Coming I'm running
As Fast as I can.

Toxic

My poison courses all around,
Spreading warmly through my veins,
Tracing its terror from my heart
And slowly back again.

No more will I infect you all,
Those who care and watch over me.
Instead I will hide it deep and away,
Protect you from the toxic sea.

They carry the precious antidote
In the palms of their tiny open hands,
Needing, wanting me to have it,
Kindly and freely offering and—

I stretch so long and far with all
The strength that I possess
I—reach, sometimes even catch it,
Salvation from the constant unrest.

But this is only for a moment
For all alone again, consumed
I wade in dark and murky waters
The bulk of my life in an empty room.